Why Sasuke Hates Logs
by Kitsune-ohime-sama
Summary: Ever wondered what would happen if The Log constantly threw a wrench in Sasuke's path of revenge? Well, we shall now explore that theory. And what's this? Why is Naruto bowing to a log? LogWorshipping!Naruto. SasuNaru? Possible...Constant Sasuke vs Log? Definitely.
1. First Time: Part One

**Pairings:**

**SasuNaru/Magnet Shipping (SEE! I TOLD YOU I'D MAKE UP A SHIPPING NAME!)**

Eh…series of one-shots explaining why Sasuke hates logs basically. At some point, LogWorshipping!Naruto might be introduced, as well as SasuNaru but for now, let's just read my wonderful, tiny one-shot.

**Summary:**

Ever wondered what would happen if The Log constantly threw a wrench in Sasuke's path of revenge? Well, we shall now explore that theory. And what's this? Why is Naruto bowing to a log? Not in chronological order. LogWorshipping!Naruto might be introduced later on.

**Warnings:** Um…so far? Occish Sasuke probably…

'Thoughts.'

"Speech."

* * *

**First Time: Genin Test Part One**

'Sasuke is doing well; in fact, he is closer than the others were,' Hatake Kakashi thought as he easily dodged kick after kick from the Uchiha. The brat wasn't really tiring him. If anything, he was making him slightly irritated that he couldn't read his Icha Icha book. It was practically crying out to him from his kunai holster!

Ah well, he had read the book atleast ten times by now. Now, he had a test to focus on (or atleast TRY to focus on).

'But is he good enough to realize the real test?'

Deciding that enough was enough; he grabbed Sasuke's leg and threw the young Uchiha over his head. The raven recovered from his airborne fall and began to whiz through handseals. Kakashi's eye widened at the handseals and their pattern, 'No! He can't seriously be using that jutsu; Genin aren't supposed to have the chakra amount to pull it off!'

And yet, Sasuke was able to pull it off. A very smart one I should say…

"_Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu _(Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique)!" A smooth stream of fire was released from Sasuke's mouth quickly became giant orb of fire that began to engulfed everything in its path with its smothering heat.

Soon, the embers began to die down to reveal…

A…log?

Kakashi stood, atleast twenty feet away from the spot, his visible eye staring at the spot in confusion as Sasuke looked between the log (which didn't even have a scratch on it) and Kakashi.

"Where'd the log come from?" Was the first thing that came from Sasuke's mouth.

* * *

**Wit****h**** Naruto**

Naruto grumbled as he slowly moved through the trees.

Not only was his but hurting from his new sensei's supposed "ultimate secret jutsu", but he was soaking wet! It was a good thing he practically never got sick. Oh sure, he might sometimes overdose on aspirin, and there was that one accident where an academy sensei switched his drink with antifreeze (which was surprisingly good. However, when he alerted Jii-san of this, he was immediately banned from ever drinking it again), but those didn't make him sick really. More so queasy than anything.

Back to the point, Naruto has never gotten sick from the more common things like a cold or flu, so he wasn't really that worried, only irritated.

Suddenly, his foot caught on something and he tripped onto the unforgiving ground. When he looked back to glare at whatever had tripped him, he noticed that it was something big. A big, leather book with the title being "The Holy Book of Log".

Out of curiosity, he sat in Indian-style and opened it up, absently noticing the faint scent of rice.

* * *

**Yeah, not that funny, but I'm working on my humor style. **

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and will ready the upcoming chapters. **

_**~Kitsune-Ohime-Sama~**_


	2. First Time: Part Two

**Pairings:**

**SasuNaru/Magnet Shipping (SEE! I TOLD YOU I'D MAKE UP A SHIPPING NAME!)**

…Why the hell did I update this crazy crack of a story?

**Summary:**

Ever wondered what would happen if The Log constantly threw a wrench in Sasuke's path of revenge? Well, we shall now explore that theory. And what's this? Why is Naruto bowing to a log?

**Warnings:** Um…LogWorshipping!Naruto from now on. Maybe a little OCCish moments?

'Thoughts.'

"Speech."

* * *

**First Time: Genin Test Part Two**

Sasuke's cheeks flushed with embarrassment and irritation. Where the hell did the Log come from? It sure wasn't there when he was aiming at_ Kakashi_ so why is it there now?

'Great, my first time in a Genin test and I pretty much blow all my chances of becoming a genin,' Sasuke thought bitterly as he glared at his supposed 'sensei' who looked he very troubled by the arrival of the Log.

Kakashi looked back and forth between the Log and Sasuke, worried and a little interested n what just happened. He'd heard of this happening before. He just couldn't remember how or why it happens. Maybe a trip to the library or Hokage would fix that?

Suddenly, a the Jounin spied a kick out of the corner of his left eye.

'Oh, looks like intermission is over,' Kakashi ducked it and moved away. When he spotted the sneer on the Uchiha's face, he smiled behind his mask.

"You didn't really think I'd drop my guard that eas-"

"PRAISE THE LOG!"

Kakashi and Sasuke simultaneously looked in the direction of the…rather erratic sound. Bewildered by the sudden sound, Kakashi began to move towards it, with Sasuke at his heels.

When they approached a small clearing surrounded by trees, Kakashi absently noticed that Sakura was already there, looking confused herself of whatever lied ahead but Naruto wasn't. Where could the blond have gotten now?

"PRAISE THE LOG FOR IT BE THY SAVIOR!"

Naruto suddenly burst through the forgery that surrounded him…with a Log in his arms?

"Er…Sensei?" Sakura called out. Kakashi nodded in acknowledgment, ever taking his eyes off the scene before him.

"Why is Naruto-baka petting the Log and calling it his savior?"

Sasuke's eye twitched, but it went by unnoticed.

"I don't know Haruno, and I really DON'T want to know."

* * *

Eh…Maybe more humor next chapter. Just got sudden inspiration by a review but unfortunately, I think it falls short to expectations.

Oh well, there's always next chapter, and I'm pretty much working on my humor so I can _attempt _to rid it whenever I'm doing a very serious fanfic.

Hope you guys enjoyed, and thank you for reviewing, faving, and "following" (Damn FFN, adding all these updates) and reading!

_**~Kitsune-Ohime-Sama~**_


	3. First Time: Part Three

**Pairings:**

**SasuNaru/Magnet Shipping**

...No comment

_I actually just recently learned that today's Sasuke's birthday. O_O_

_Er...this chapter is his birthday gift? :D _

_Trust me guys, if I had more preparation, you'd be getting some REAL SasuNaru action. Either way, Happy B-day Sasuke, you son of a *****! :D_

**Summary:**

Ever wondered what would happen if The Log constantly threw a wrench in Sasuke's path of revenge? Well, we shall now explore that theory. And what's this? Why is Naruto bowing to a log?

**Warnings:** OCCish characters, but this is crack so you should expect bullshit like that. Accidental Sakura Bashing. Well…considering this is crack, you should expect some form of bashing even if I don't mean for it to happen.

'Thoughts.'

"Speech."

* * *

**First Time: Genin Test Part Three (Final part, thank Kami)**

Sakura couldn't help but feel concern for the blond who had mercilessly chased after her heart for so many years that was now deluded into worshipping…a Log. She could understand if he worshipped something like ramen, but a Log? Seriously?

Sasuke was just feeling an abnormal amount of jealousy and hatred towards the Log. But the kid feels hatred over pretty much anything, so it really doesn't matter.

Kakashi just stood there, staring at his now-dead sensei's son. He wasn't completely sure if he should separate the kid from the Log; he'd heard stories of when the kid was young, people tried to take small comforts such as teddy bears and blankets from him and were shipped to the hospital and later the mental hospital.

Everytime, it was due to traumatization and bleeding wounds from claws and teeth. Sure, the kid might've grown from that, but you could never be too careful as a ninja.

Plus, the clock was ticking for the exam, and while he didn't necessarily like the brats (He knew he could get along with Naruto just fine, Sasuke was just emo, and Sakura….yeah), he couldn't help but feel bad that such a distraction was going to possibly kept them from passing.

Naruto…well, Naruto was just petting the Log and whispering sweet nothings to it much to everyone's concern (or anger). Suddenly, his eyes grew wide and he looked up at Kakashi.

"Sensei?" Kakashi nodded slowly.

"C-can you come over here for a second? It's really important," Kakashi didn't know what it was, the cute stutter or the fact Naruto managed to pull off the sweet and innocent look to him, but for some reason, he was by the kid's side in three seconds.

He leaned in front of Naruto, staring into the blond's blue eyes with his one dark brown one.

"What is it, Naruto?" He unconsciously considered taking the log away at that very moment. He had a feeling that it would only lead to disaster in the close future if he didn't do something about it right now. Naruto, possibly ignoring Kakashi's inner struggles, looked to be contemplating a little before opening his mouth.

"I just stole the bells," In the small nano-second that Kakashi was confused by the statement, Naruto had reached for his butt and swiped the bells. So Kakashi had little but no choice but to do the ever-popular double-take at Naruto's hand where the two silver bells hung limply.

"Ho-" Sakura began, but was cut off when one of the bells was thrown at her, hitting her squarely in the forehead before landing in her open hands. Sasuke was more prepared and actually caught the other bell before it had the chance to give a concussion.

The silver-haired man looked between Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke before coming back to the face of Naruto who just stared blankly.

"Did we pass?"

"Er…well…" Kakashi fumbled to find the right words to say to the blond, "Considering that you stole the bells, which was the fake point of the test and then gave them away to your teammates, which represents…_some_ form of teamwork which is the true goal…yeah…you pass…I think."

"WHOO! I'm even closer to being Hokage _and_ strong enough to protect all the Logs out there!" Naruto whooped, having ignored everything else as long as Kakashi said "you pass".

Sakura managed a worried and ditzy-looking smile (she might still be recovering from the hit). She was glad their team passed, but the obsession Naruto had over Logs was getting creepy.

Sasuke (who was mentally smirking at the accomplishment) just looked as confused as Kakashi as they watched Naruto began to bow down to the Log. They blissfully ignored the huge leather book that was hidden under a nearby bush.

Kakashi stood straight, wondering how he was to tell the other Jounin and Hokage how he got played into passing his team by a Log worshipping blond brat.

* * *

**With the Sandaime**

Unbeknownst to Kakashi, the Sandaime Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen, already knew what happened, having wanted and hoped to see if Naruto, who he considered a second grandson, would pass. Unlike Kakashi, Sasuke, and Sakura, he _had_ seen the book.

"I THOUGHT I DESTROYED THAT BOOK AS SOON AS HASHIRAMA-SENSEI DIED. HOW THE HELL IS IT STILL IN ONE PIECE!"

Needless to say, the Sandaime was not at all pleased.

* * *

I think this wraps this next chapter. For some reason, I just felt like there were some things missing in the part where Naruto steals the bells.

By the way, anyone want to come at me because I made them pass like this should shush, this is crack, you shouldn't expect anything less than crack and parodies.

Also, thank you those continuously review like _Averial Flames_ and my friend from Skype, _Ennalight_.

Thank you to you other guys who read this fail of a humor fic at all. PLUS, THIS CHAPTER WAS BIGGER THAN THE LAST! :D

Anyway, next time: First Real Mission. I think we're going to enjoy this~

_**~Kitsune-Ohime-Sama~**_

(I would like to note that I'm happy to take suggestions. I don't always get inspiration from music, fanfiction, and art...)


	4. Second Time: Part One

**Pairings:**

SasuNaru/ Magnet Shipping

OMG UPDATE! Yeah...this was late because I haven't watched the Wave arc in like…FORVER. I went to the manga for reference.

Even then I was still lazy. xD

Okay, a lot of language in here because I wanted just to show you how Naruto and the Hokage interact before we officially start the Wave arc. I think I'll only show their interactions every now and then so it doesn't become cliché.

**Summary:**

Ever wondered what would happen if The Log constantly threw a wrench in Sasuke's path of revenge? Well, we shall now explore that theory. And what's this? Why is Naruto bowing to a log?

**Warnings:** Langauge from Naruto and the Sandaime. Just because he converted doesn't mean he doesn't swear, plus, the Sandaime DOES NOT LOGS.

_Flashback (it's the same basics as 'Thoughts' and "Speech")_

'Thoughts.'

"Speech."

* * *

**Second Time: Wave Arc Part One**

"_What's the distance to the target?"_

"**Five meters. I'm ready anytime."**

"So am I!"

"_**Me too."**_

"_Ok…" _

Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke tensed slightly, ready for the signal from their sensei. After passing their tests, Kakashi has decided to "treat" them to lunch at Ichiraku's (per Naruto's request which everyone obliged, since he was the one helped them pass….somehow).

After Kakashi had mysteriously ate one bowl without removing his mask, he had given a cheerful goodbye –despite the events of earlier that day- and vanished in a puff of smoke.

Needless to say, his students were _not_ amused when they showed up the next day for training.

"_Go!"_

In a flurry, the three genin were on their target; a cat. A very much not de-clawed, irritable cat.

Sakura had caught it first, but seeing that it was in no mood to be returned to its owner, threw it sideways towards Naruto without looking.

Poor Naruto never saw it coming.

"What the-?"

'MEIEEAOWWW!"

"HOLY SHI-OW! WH-OW."

Sakura looked down at her teammate while Sasuke ignored him in favor of telling Kakashi that they had caught the target and that the cat/devil was wearing the red bow that was used to identify it.

He also said that they would wait until the cat and Naruto stopped "playing" before meeting Kakashi up at the Hokage Tower.

* * *

**Three Hours Later (It took two for them to take the cat off of Naruto and another hour to patch the kid up): At the Tower**

It took a while, but they finally arrived at the Tower and were now watching the cat get smothered by its owner, the Daimyo's wife.

"Hehehe, fucking cat," Naruto muttered, taking shameless joy in seeing the cat being tortured. Sakura mentally agreed with him as she had to carry the thing to the Tower as she was part of the reason they were setback. She had the scratches to prove she carried it.

The blond was covered with bandages and was carrying a Log in his arms. Sasuke was glaring at said Log. It had been the bane of his time on Team 7 because Naruto would punch him out for using substitution when they sparred (which was a LOT). And with the Log being the closet one around, it ended up getting the attack (though Naruto always stopped at the last second before swiftly turning around and punching Sasuke).

Plus, the way Naruto held it so gently was so unfair!

"Now, Kakashi's Team 7, your next duty is between these options. Babysitting an elder's grandson, Naruto giving me the book of nonsense (Naruto's glare at the cat was redirected at the Sandaime with more intensity.), shopping in the neighboring village, Naruto giving me the book of complete bull shit, and helping with potato digging. Oh, and Naruto giving me the FUCKING BOOK." The Sandaime finished with a smile as his eyes landed on Naruto. "The Sandaime asked so sweetly."

Naruto's glare seemed to be causing the window behind the Sandaime to melt as the Sandaime said all this. The other people in the room were looking between them, exasperated and at a loss to what they should do.

They've been going at it since Naruto went to visit the Hokage a day after the test and it went a little something like this:

'_I can't _wait _to tell Ji-san about the log!' Naruto opened the door, Book and Log in hand as he did so. "Ohayo, Jii-s-"_

"_NARUTO! GIVE ME THE BOOK!" _

"_HOLY FUCK!"_

While they still had somewhat civilized conversations, it had to be done with someone watching them to make sure they didn't say anything that would set the other off. It was pretty horrible for the random person since nearly every sentence had an underlying message.

"So, how are you today, Naruto?" It looked like Hiruzen was going at it a different way. _Givemethebook._

"Awesome. What about you?" Naruto said through clenched teeth. Team 7 knew he was getting irritated considering he had stopped petting his Log. _Helltothefuckno._

"Great! Konohomaru has been asking about you. He wanted to see if you were willing to play with him and his friends," The Sandaime's eye twitched. _Boi,youwillgivethebook._

"Tell him I could try after I finish the LAMEASS MISSION that you'll most likely give us," The people in the room were feeling rather uncomfortable now. _FucknoBITCH._

"…"

"…Okay, how about this. You give us a cool mission without CATS and I'll give you The Holy Book," Naruto resumed petting his Log. The Sandaime looked to be just about ready to dance, but the others were in confusion as they thought that with Naruto's and Sandaime's stubbornness, it'd take a _long _while before either got what either wanted.

"Really?"

"No-"

"SUNOVA-" Sarutobi was cut off when Iruka threw a mission scroll at him.

"You didn't actually think I'd give you The Book? You underestimate me, Ji-san. Either way, give us a MISSION. Not some half-ass chores these villagers are too lazy to do themselves," The Sandaime glared at Naruto. Naruto glared back.

Sakura was by the back wall, hitting her head against it. Smart girl.

Sasuke glared at the Log, having ignored the entire conversation in favor of attempting to melt the offending piece of wood in the blond's hands. Kakashi was reading a book named, "So you got a student with Log Issues". Iruka was glaring at a Kakashi to do something since he had power over Naruto now (which Iruka would begrudgingly admit to).

Kakashi looked up at Iruka and winked flirtingly at him before returning to his book, causing the chuunin to fume.

Iruka had been rather okay with Naruto's new obsession as long as it didn't get in the way of Naruto's training to which the blond had promised he would try not to do so. Iruka already glared at people who glared at Naruto, imagined what he'd try to do to the Sandaime when he started pestering the blond for the book.

Sarutobi did _not_ liked to be teased. Nor did he like the smug smile on Naruto's face. He instantly whipped out the C-rank mission scroll and looked through it, grumbling. He might as well give the brat a traveling kind of mission; it'd give him the peace of mind he was denied when he realized The Book was still in the village.

"Alright, you get a C-rank mission," The Sandaime finally announced as he looked the mission over.

"Sweet!" Naruto was practically jumping up and down, naming off the possible missions they were given.

"WHAT?" Shoot. He should've known Iruka would've objected. Oh well, the man can be ignored.

"Alright! Mission Request #31 C-rank! Come on in," The Sandaime announced, not paying attention to Iruka sneaking behind him,

There were some footsteps and a little fumbling before Team 7's client came through the door.

"What the super hell is this? They're all just a bunch of super brats. Especially…the shortest one with the super stupid-looking face. Are you really a shinobi?"

. . .

"IN THE NAME OF THE LOG, I WILL KILL YOU."

"YOU BASTARD!"

* * *

Tis so much fail~

:,D

**Alright, I was a little lazy to pm answer reviews so here we go:**

**XxanimeaddictxX- **…I don't really understand half of what you're saying, but OH WELL! ^^ Glad you like this.

**LadyUzuScarlet- **Really? It's just crack that I need to be high for to write (not). Thanks for liking anyway.

**Leilsel97- **Oh crap…uh…UPDATE! :D Glad you like~

**Averial Flames- **LOl, it's okay! I sometimes do that. I will remove it soon! Thank you for reading it tho~

Once again, I fail at humor, but you people like it anyway which makes me _smile. _Hope I get the next chapter up. It's going to be shorter than this, but will take more planning.

Next up: Part Two! ^^

_**~Kitsune-Ohime-Sama~**_

_(PS:I'd like to note that 'Boi' is how I spell 'Boy' if anyone was confused)_


	5. Second Time: Part Two

**Pairings:**

SasuNaru/ Magnet Shipping

Actually, the only reason I got inspiration was because I am going to release a new story called Reminiscence some time this week (already got the first part of it done). It's some REAL SasuNaru that will, once gain, be character development practice.

I'd like to note that this HALF a chapter. Mainly because I wanted to update this story (*cough*advertise Reminiscence*cough*) and get the inspiration train going.

Btw, this chapter and the next is ALL flashback, but I guarantee it to be a fun one! :D

**Summary:**

Ever wondered what would happen if The Log constantly threw a wrench in Sasuke's path of revenge? Well, we shall now explore that theory. And what's this? Why is Naruto bowing to a log?

**Warnings:** Shortness, the word "Super" starting its way of becoming cliché, crudeness (but only a little), and SHAMELESS ADVERTISING FOR NEW STORIES.

'Thoughts.'

"Speech."

* * *

**Second Time: Wave Arc Part Two point Five**

Naruto glared at Kakashi and Tazuna. Sakura glared at Naruto. Sasuke glared at the Log. The Log glared at Sasuke (…somehow…) Kakashi and the bridge-builder, Tazuna, were trying to hide behind each other.

Yeah, this little "Hate-you" octagon is quite massive, isn't it? Oh…how it started well...

After Iruka and Naruto tried to murder the Hokage and client respectively…

_~Flashback~_

After Iruka had been restrained by a couple dozen of ANBU, he was tied to his chair by ninja wire. The brunet had seemed quite content with merely glaring at Sarutobi thus far, but that could change in a second.

Meanwhile, Naruto was held back by more…"simpler" means, AKA Kakashi and his traitorous jumpsuit.

"Ow –bam- ow –bam- ow-bam- ow," While pinkie is attempting to become a woodpecker, but failing at it, Sasuke was finally tuning into the conversation. Albeit, confused as to why Iruka was tied to a chair, who the drunk was, why the Hokage looked a complete mess and flinched when Iruka glared at him, or why Naruto was being held back, his face didn't betray it.

Tazuna looked a little confused as well, but his emotions were fully displayed.

"Look super brat, I just expect your super ugly buts to get me from point A to point B. Super kapeesh?" Everyone stared. No one has heard the word 'super' be butchered so much, and they feared it will keep happening to the point of clichéness and after so.

"…I think…" Naruto shifted uncomfortably as Kakashi ruffled his hair in a cheerful manner.

"Well then, let's meet at the gates in an hour or so, ne?" And with that, Kakashi has disappeared to do kami-knows-what.

* * *

**Four Hours Later: At the Village Gates**

"I am going to _kill_ that lazy teacher of ours!" Sakura screeched. Tazuna, Sasuke, Naruto, and Naruto's Log stood a little ways away from the seething pinkette.

"Er…Sakura-chan, I don't think it's worth-"Naruto was cut-off by the sudden POOF and a cloud.

When it dissipated, Kakashi, looking as non-interested and sexy as always raised a hand in greeting, "Yo."

Not even the crickets chirped in the great amount silence there was at that moment.

"…Let's go," Sakura commanded with an even tone, such a contrast to the raging bull of rage that she was just a few seconds ago. Nonetheless, they followed after, not wanting to have the wrath of such a possibly PMSing teen upon them.

On the walk, Naruto attempted to get into a conversation with the bridge-builder in an effort to learn his client better. Kakashi felt proud. Sasuke felt like tearing the Log apart, burning it, and dancing on the ashes. The boi doesn't seem to let go of grudges easily…

Tazuna seemed happy enough to oblige him.

"Yes, I make super-fantastic super bridges! They're so super that you could fight on it when it's only super incomplete and it wouldn't fall apart because that would be unsuper," Tazuna looked down at the log in Naruto's hands, "Hey, if it's not too superly much to ask…"

"What?" Naruto, and anyone who bothered to listen to them, tilted their head to hear better.

"Would you mind if I take your Log-"

Naruto paled and stopped walking,

"-and clean it-"

He gained a little more color and was about to take a step,

"-cut it-"

And now he stared with wide eyes, more pale than before,

"-slice it-"

Kakashi looked up from his book and at Tazuna, silently begging the man not to say anymore,

"-dice it-"

Sauske and Sakura shook their heads,

"-and put it into my bridge?" Tazuna asked. There was a silence for a while.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD," And once again, Naruto was restrained by Kakashi and his jumpsuit.

"Naruto, what's the point of protecting when all you want to do is kill our client," Kakashi sighed. And to think he thought that Naruto's newfound religion wouldn't get mixed-up in missions. So much for wishful thinking.

* * *

And, I am DONE. It's so damn short, but it's beautiful. :,D

Jk, not really. My humor is really bad and while you guys seem to like it (HOW) you also leave me such wonderful reviews that I LOVE to read. Btw, which way is better? Replying at the end of a chapter or PM? I personally like replying in chapter so I won't be so mixed-up in who I didn't and did reply to.

Responses:

**a Wiccan:** I'm glad you do! :D

**LadyUzuScarlet:** When Naruto first tried to tell him about it, he did, but was restrained by a flying Iruka. OAO

School HAS unfortunately found a hobby in giving me homework nearly every night and thinking about it right now, I need to go change some of my answers of my Algebra homework. Dx

**Averial Flames:** I always did dislike how FFN handles reviews on the same chapter. :/

Usually, someone might have something else to say later-on but they can't say it without doing what you did which is quite unnecessary.

Of course the Log affects everything! It's the reason why we have life! oAo

Yeah, I was thinking of something to change Kakashi a little, and instantly, book came to mind. xD

If I'm lucky, I will get the next part up next week, I'm hoping before October ends, though.

Kay, bye guys, and be on the look-out for Reminiscence! If you want something like a little plot preview, ask and ye shall review in PM. :)

_**~Kitsune-Ohime-Sama~**_


	6. Second Time: Part Two Point Five

**Pairings:**

SasuNaru/ Magnet Shipping

/shyly comes out/ Er… Hi? EAAAAAAK! /runs from the angry readers/

I am SO sorry. What happened everyone, was the STUPIDEST THING EVER. My internet company pulled up this old bill that hadn't been fully paid off, so my grandma forced my mom to pay it or risk never getting internet and cable back.

That was in like… late November. The last chapter was uploaded at my mom's apartment, which lost ITS internet an Effin. Week. Later. The only way I had internet was through the 15 minutes we have at school or my mom's phone (which I could only use on the weekends and when she WASN'T at work), and since all my notes were on said internet along with the fact that I could barely remember what I had planned to do for this chapter, let alone what HAPPENED in the last three chapters, I really couldn't do much of anything.

My mom paid off the bill in early February. My grandma said she'd get the internet back on in a week.

As you can probably tell, she lied. I basically had no internet for about six months. Bringing us to where we are now.

I also had a problem with Error 1 yesterday, delaying the upload. :P

Once again, I'm so sorry. I'll try to post the next chapter quick. It's going to have to be short as hell, but I actually STILL don't internet, so…

Not to mention, since this is chapters 6, 7, and 8 mashed into one, I can't have too much in the next chapter since most of you won't be able to review.

**Summary:**

Ever wondered what would happen if The Log constantly threw a wrench in Sasuke's path of revenge? Well, we shall now explore that theory. And what's this? Why is Naruto bowing to a log?

**Warnings:** Three chapters put into one, OCCness, perverted Sasuke. Bad fight scene, I hate writing fight scenes since I don't actually read them regardless of the book/anime. Super is officially cliché. I say this with pride. U_U

The Log. (Yeah, the Log gets it's own warning)

'Thoughts.'

"Speech."

* * *

**Second Time: Wave Arc Part Two point Five**

After Naruto had been reprimanded on why he should NEVER kill a client (though, Naruto managed to bend the rules to if the person hurts a Log on his watch, he could do so as a Log follower), Team 7, plus the Log-murd-bridge builder were still going strong towards the Wave.

As they were passing a huge clump of leafy trees (that Kakashi had to pry Mister Tree Hugger*coughNarutocough* away from), a serene, undisturbed puddle lay smack-dab in the road.

Kakashi points out puddle some distance away. "Everyone see that puddle?" He asked for the twelfth time.

"We're not _blind_, sensei," Sakura growls. She knew that she wasn't a strong fighter and that she had been lagging around much more lately, but she hadn't gotten stupid over the time and she would LOVE to move on with this mission and get home. Her mom was making pork chops when she did, and for once, she wanted something to eat that was meat.

Kakashi ignores her comment, "So what do we do about it?"

He wasn't testing their stupidity, no, he thought that this would be a good lesson for the Team for when they feel something suspicious is going on. It would do no good if a ninja couldn't look at his or her surroundings without feeling at least a little cautious. He was sure that his team would-

"WOOOOO PUDDLE! WOOOOOO!"

Sasuke, Sakura, and Tazuna could only watch in wonder and bewilderment as he jumped in the puddle like a toddler and their thoughts reflected on it.

'The super hell?'

'...' (Sasuke's eye was twitching slightly, so it doesn't need further explanation)

'What...the hell is Naruto doing?'

Kakashi facepalmed; will they _ever_ get to the Wave? After a while/lots of facepalms, Kakashi signaled for Naruto to get back.

"Naruto, hey Naruto!" Said blond looked back and waved.

"Hi Kakashi-sensei!"

Kakashi would facepalm if his face didn't already hurt so much.

"Hi bastard!"

Sasuke used Uchiha Glare! Naruto's ability, Obviousness, activated!

The Log took the attack for Naruto! It hardly had any effect!

Sasuke used Scream in Frustration! It wasn't very effective…

Everyone (besides Naruto) used Weirdo Stare on Sasuke! It was super effective!

Sasuke was withdrawn from the battle and put into the Emo Corner!

"Hi Sakura-chan!"

Sakura glared at him.

"Hi Log-Murderer!"

Tazuna was about to speak but he was quickly silenced by a glare from Sakura. Kakashi looked a little put-out from this interaction. The girl has been getting even testier (and he's heard of her temper from that lovely dolphin) after the test.

She might be of some use after all.

Finally, after much calling, Naruto started walking towards them with a goofy smile on his face. It warmed Kakashi's little, giving heart; too bad the scene was ruined by two menacing figures popping up from the puddle Naruto was playing in and-

Wait-_what_?

At the same time, Kakashi and Sasuke raced towards Naruto. "Naruto! Get out of there!"

"Eh?" The blond looked confused before looking behind him and froze where he was. The air around him seemed to get heavier and difficult to breathe in for Naruto. He's felt this horrible feeling plenty of times in the village, but he thought he could escape it, at least on this mission!

Just as the figures was about to slice him in half with a glistening chain that connected them to each other, he was pushed out the way into the waiting arms of Sasuke by Kakashi. Just in time so see Kakashi get sliced into pieces like bread, and... this will not bode well for the kid's mental stability, will it?

Sakura stared at the clumps that were the remains of her late sensei in shock. After all the strength that he had shown and great knowledge he seemed to have hidden deep within the reserves of his mind, his life had ended saving the life of his student.

'What an honorable way to go,' She thought. 'Though, I thought the remains of a sliced Kakashi would be more squishy, not block shaped...'

Sasuke looked very content with the blond in his arms. Let's delve into his mind, shall we?

'Oh yes~, come f-' Never mind, that was a _terrible_ idea. The kid is perverted beyond belief. I don't know if I should be proud to call him a fellow pervert, or annoyed he's thinking this when his sensei just died. Talk about insensitive.

And Naruto...

"...Where'd my Log go?" Naruto stared at his empty hands where his Log last was seen; he didn't know what happened, but a second it was in his hands just as Kakashi was about to die and the next it wasn't.

"One down," The icy tone of one of the assassins broke all three genin out of their thoughts.

"Three brats and a weakling to go," The other finished before they made to charge at Sasuke and Naruto. Thinking quickly, Naruto pulled himself out of Sauske's hold and aimed a kunai at the chain in an effort to break it. Seemingly catching on to what he was trying to do, and in an effort to show that she would fight like the kunoichi she had proclaimed herself to be, Sakura took out a couple shuriken and threw them, as well. All of them hit their target, but wasn't enough, even with one of Sakura's shuriken caught right in the middle of the metal chain. They had pushed the two assassins back a couple feet, however.

It gave time enough for them to dart back to the bridge builder who had climbed up a tree. Unfortunately, with their sensei dead and left with two dangerous ninjas and someone they had to protect, they didn't know what to do.

The best they could do was fight with their lives.

"Guys, what do we do?" Naruto asked as their backs met the coarse bark of the huge tree. He was dealing with the tension in the air better than before, but his mind still couldn't wrap around the disappearance of his Log, the death of Kakashi, and the how Sasuke had caught him.

He could understand that his teammates had his back, and that's what they needed the most right now.

"We could find the weak point of the chain, but we probably shouldn't touch it," Sakura whispered, her emerald eyes focusing on the strange glint the chain held as the assassins laughed at the prospect of playing little with their 'prey' before killing them. They already knew the genin stood little to no chance against them, and since they had no reinforcements on the way, they held no worry over killing them quickly.

"Why so?" Sasuke asked blankly, finally deciding to participate as their lives were on the line.

"Can't you see it? The way the chain has that shine can't be just plain good care of it. It's obvious it's received minimal care if the blood is anything to go by. I think it has poison," Sasuke and Naruto listened tentatively to Sakura's explanation. It made sense and put caution into the boy's minds as they knew that at least one of them had to stay with Tazuna, and that was Sakura since she held little to no strength and endurance compared to her teammates. It was a harsh fact to her, but one she seemed to understand for the time being and will hopefully try to change that when... _if_ they get back to Konoha.

"So what should we do?" Naruto asked.

"I think the kunai and shuriken was the first step. See where mine is right now? Aim for it, it probably got stuck there for a reason," Sakura said, taking out a couple more shuriken, knowing her teammates would follow her example.

"Oh, what's this?" One of the assassins grinned evilly when he noticed the three get into their battle stances.

_"Aim for their legs to try and keep them from getting closer when you can."_Sasuke whispered, barely picked up by the others. He knew they heard it anyway.

"Trying to save themselves?" The other cried out, his voice cackling with hysteric laughter.

_"On three..."_The mental countdown began.

"Let's humor them, brother! It'd make the kill much more sweeter."

_1..._

"Alright," The two began to make their way to the tree.

_2..._

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE SUPER HELL YOU'RE TRYING TO DO, BUT JUST SUPER SAVE ME, SUPER BRATS!"

All the ninja stared at Tazuna in disbelief. _Really?_

"For the love of the sweet-sap of the Life-giving Tree, SHUT UP."

And that is how a barrage of kunai was released.

"The fu-?!"

"What the hell?" Unable to get much closer, the Demon Brothers shimmied backwards with squinted eyes.

Sasuke instantly charged at one of the brothers while they were distracted by the onslaught. He slid between his legs, flinching slightly from the roughness of dirt and rock, before standing upright behind him and stabbing him in the back.

Roaring in pain, the man turned on his left heel, surprisingly fast, and swiped his clawed/gloved hand at Sasuke's torso. Before he could make contact, a mudball, thrown with precision by a cheering Sakura, knocked him off balance and away from Sasuke.

"Argh! My eye, my eye!" Hearing the sudden cry, Naruto looked up from his staredown with the other of the brothers. His face brightened; they were getting somewhere!

"Naruto, move!" Sasuke's voice sliced through the air, making Naruto turn back from the brother who was furiously clawing at his eyes with both hands, to the other brother who was definitely _not _distracted.

He managed to duck the first punch, but kicked a few meters from being kneed in the face. The man charged at Naruto only for Sakura to throw a kunai in his path, making him pull back for a second. The second was all Naruto needed to recover and rebound back, aiming a kick at his face with Sasuke waiting for an opportunity to strike. The kick landed and blew the two brothers farther apart.

The horrid screech of dirty, rusting metal clashing against each other caught the attention of Sasuke. They could all see the horizontal line of metal slicked with poison with Sakura's kunai right in the smack middle. The chain was strained, now it only needed that one last attack before it broke completely.

Apparently, Naruto noticed it, too, for he jumped straight down on the kunai. The effect was instantaneous.

First, the chain snapped in uneven pieces, causing for Sasuke to back down and Naruto, who was in the middle of the chaos, to shield is face with his hands, getting scratched by the unclean chains in the process.

Second, both brothers were propelled in opposite directions. One, into the way of a horse-drawn wagon… you can see where that is going without me explaining it…

The other, into a tree.

Third, the Demon Brother who had hit the tree's impact was so strong that a person fell from the tree with the grace of a ninj- hey, isn't that Kakashi? As in, 'I-just-died-saving-my tree-hugger-of-a-student', Kakashi?

Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke stared in amazement for a while before Sakura sighed happily and immediately approached their sensei. Sasuke went back to his aloof attitude now that the danger had passed, if the screams and unconsciousness that belonged to the brothers said anything.

Naruto stared Kakashi. If Kakashi has been in the tree this entire time, then-? He looked back at where he _thought_ he saw his sensei die. All that lay in that spot was lumps of wood. Naruto recognized those lumps of wood as the remains of his Log.

**KILL.**

Kakashi looked up from his admiring student when he felt the killer intent. He was sure his students had taken care of the missing-nin, and in such a promising way! He looked at Sasuke who was poised for attack, but looked unsure as he stared at Naruto who was staring at-

Oh, _shit_.

If Naruto punched Sasuke out for even _daring_ to use the Log, he was going attempt murder for the "death" of his Log. He needed to pacify his student, NOW.

"Er… N-Naruto?" Kakashi cautiously made his way to his student, cursing himself for not sounding confident. But… if Naruto was anything like Minato-sensei or Kushina-chan (Kami forbid, both of them COMBINED) when pissed, he really didn't think pride should be along for the ride. "I'm really sorry. I can help you find another. That's okay, right!? Please tell me that's okay…?"

"I am going to **KILL YOU**." That didn't sound promising.

Tazuna had slipped out of his super tree, slightly concerned about his super "protectors", but had passed it off as a super average shinobi thing. He was on a mission of his own. That Log those superly-uncool ninjas had cut up was still useable, and after living the super harsh life that most people in the super Wave lived, he learned not to waste.

Now he just has to pick them up and put them in his super bag for later use. He bent and down reached out for one of the bigger super blocks.

"You touch the Holy Log and I will **END YOU**."

Maybe he didn't need this wood; after all, it looked super stringy. He needed super strong wood for his bridge of course! Super… strong… wood…

Jeez…

Tazuna prided himself in his super instincts. They helped him keep his super small family safe and got his bridge built a super fair amount with little super disruption until about a couple months ago. Now, they were screaming at him to back away super quickly from the death-glaring, and apparently, psycho, blond super shinobi.

He did so with no hesitation. Team 7 watched (Naruto glared) as their client scooted backwards and stared (or glared) as he quietly climbed back into the tree before clinging to a branch with one hand and sucking his thumb, his brown eyes never leaving Naruto's hair (he was too scared to look directly into the demonic eyes that promised torture).

Wow...

Naruto tried to keep his glare, but it fumbled when grief took over. The Log, oh the Log…

Retribution. He needed retribution.

Everyone (but the Brothers, one possible dead and the other still knocked out) watched as Naruto pulled out a sealing scroll and place it on the ground with care. After watching him perform a few handseals, the seal broke and released… tree saplings and a water pail. 25, to be exact.

He then proceeded to plant one into the earth with tenderness then watering it.

Kakashi summed up what was happening. Naruto was giving respect to the Log he had… er… used…

Guilt washed over the Jounin. If he hadn't used that jutsu, Naruto probably wouldn't hate him. He wanted to help, but he was positive that it was frowned upon to help a Log Worshipper with retribution.

The silver-haired nin looked over his other two students, gauging their reactions. Sasuke was staring at the mutilated Log, no doubt wanting to get rid of the evidence of "murder". Sakura just looked pissed and was staring at her bag with longing; it must be getting about noon by now.

Naruto continued the planting and watering without interruption.

After he was finished, dirt covered his hair and clothing. Mud was caked on his face and his hands as he resealed the now-empty pail.

Naruto then got on his knees. Sakura's eye twitched as she noticed his hands come together in prayer. 'Can please get this with over with? I'm hungry, damn it.'

Naruto ignored her thoughts of doom.

* * *

**Three Hours Later **

"'And the willow sayeth unto the ninja: Wherefore dost I weep? 'Tis tears of joy, as thy kin and mine together fell thine foes, who would bring the axe and torch to the wood. The log ist thine ally, and mine kin. Calling upon the log, is to call upon me. To aid thee in battle, I weep my tear of joy.'

"'And the ninja spoke: Yea, thee and thine kin shall forever be blessed among me and mine kin. For thine bravery will never be forgotten.'" Naruto recited from the Book of the Log to the saplings, unknowing of the time that passed by. *****

Sakura was just about to kill Naruto.

Six hours.

That's how long time has gone since she last ate and traveling and battling had taken it toll on her stomach. Her mind jumped for joy when Naruto finally stood, but it quickly died down when he walked over to the mutilated Log.

"**Revival Jutsu**." The Log was instantly fixed and looked good as new with no blemishes or scars. Naruto squealed with happiness and began hugging the Log close to him.

The Log hugged him back. No one really knew how, but they feel could it was hugging Naruto.

Tazuna (who had climbed back down and stood next to the Jounin) and Kakashi's jaws were on the floor. Sasuke's eye was twitching and Sakura could feel the angry vein in her head throb.

Did… Naruto just waste three hours of their lives… giving respect to a Log that he could easily revive?

Oh hell no.

"NARUTO-BAKA!"

"Silence, disbeliever-Sakura-chan, for the Holy Log demands respect in its revival!"

"I'LL GIVE YOU DAMN RESPECT AFTER I KICK YOUR ASS." Sakura was just about to pounce on Naruto, kunai in hand when Kakashi held her back, sighing in relief. Maybe now was the time to as for forgiveness?

He opened his mouth.

"Don't talk to me, Kakashi-sensei." Naruto growled, not stopping his hug for anything.

Maybe Naruto needed a few more hours, after all the Log was practically his er…object of… worship?

He really needed his reference book.

Sasuke wasn't pleased. The damn object of his torture was back. He knew he should've burned it when he had the chance. Almost as if it could feel the glare threatening its Holiness, the Log glared back at Sasuke from over Naruto's shoulder.

Somehow.

Kakashi cleared his throat with a cough; they've been here for too long, best to get a move on. "All right guys, let's get going. The Wave is still quite ways away."

Sakura let out an angry screech at the thought of having to walk on an empty stomach. Well, she wasn't going to take this sitting down! A pointed, angered stare was directed at the blond who ignored it.

Sasuke straightened up his posture with his glare still intact and strong against the Log's who seemed smug as it was held close to the blond. Naruto stood, Log in his arms once more, but a glare fastened on Kakashi and Tazuna who were both pretty sure that if Naruto was angry enough, he'd kill them in their sleep without hesitation.

Cautiously (with about seven glares), the group restarted their trek to the Wave.

_~Flashback End~_

Thus, the whole "Hate-Octagon".

* * *

Hehe, I think my conscious has made a plot for me because I honestly have no idea where to go besides following canon. xD

Once again, I'm REALLY, REALLY sorry about the wait and I hope that this makes it better! I don't deserve reviews for how long I kept you all waiting! Dx

*****- Excerpt from the Book of Log, Song of Willow, Verses 1-4

**Review replies:**

… I was doing this on my home computer so I don't really remember who reviewed, who didn't and what everyone said…

Thanks anyway for reviewing! :)

Alright. Uh… I got nothing else to say but lookout for my newest story that I'm writing for myself. I realized… that when I write, I tend to get discouraged by lack of feedback. It makes me feel sad, that I'm not good enough a writer for people to read my stuff and just stop writing all together because of it.

So… I'm making a whole new story that I've been working on –plot wise- for about a year. It first came to me in a dream, and I LOVED it. It's going to be SasuNaru and just about every pairing I can think of and fit in with maybe a few x-overs because it's one of those stories where I don't feel like making OCCs for the large span of characters used.

I will work on it regardless of feedback. I admit, I will discouraged, but I will force myself to write if only to prove to myself that I can actually pull off such a huge story.

Enna-chan **(Ennalight)**, one of my best buddies ever, has already read my plot (I got most of it done) and she likes it which really brings up my hopes. I hope you guys like it, too!

Well, enough about my new story. Story updates are now being clearly shown on my profile. It's going to be changed every now and then, depending on my access to internet but hopefully gets no longer than what it already is (besides rant section).

Thanks guys!

_**~Kitsune-Ohime-Sama~**_


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